Mon Ange
by Crazy Pink Penguin
Summary: He chuckles, the sound vibrating against the skin of your throat. "Not that I don't adore all your precious noises but you need to remain silent, mon ange (My angel), else someone might discover us." - Arno/reader. Adult content. No under 18's please. Now a two-shot with the possibility of being more!
1. Mon Ange

**Few things...**

**1. I don't usually write reader-inserts so this is totally a first for me. Sorry if it sucks.**

**2. I wanted to try writing in a new tense(I like challenging myself) and I kept screwing it up lol. I'm used to writing like 'he kissed' instead of 'he kisses'. I've read through this so many times to try and correct any mistakes but proof reading really isn't one of my strengths!**

**3. I don't speak French(which is why I tried to keep it to a minimal) and Google translate is responsible for any bad translations. If any of you see any mistakes, please do tell me so I can correct them!**

**I think that's everything...I hope you enjoy!**

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**Mon Ange**

_(My angel)_

Your back meets the cold, brick wall gently as a hard body is placed against your own. You know you need to be quiet but can't seem to control the loud, uneven breaths which leave you.

It wasn't a good idea. You both knew that anyone could catch you; all they had to do was walk around the corner, but you couldn't help it. You'd been giving each other sly glances all day, and small, knowing smiles as you brushed teasingly against each other under the unknowing gazes of your brothers. Eventually it had all built up and before you knew it, he was grabbing you and pulling you into a dark hallway you'd passed.

Soft, full lips push forcefully against your own, dominating you in a way which leaves you a quivering mess.

His teeth tug on your bottom lip, giving it a gentle nibble before sucking it into his warm mouth and soothing his wet tongue over it. You gasp at the movement, your body feeling hot and needy as blood rushes down south, leaving your underwear wet with desire, all because of him.

You push your chest into his, wanting to feel him as close as possible. The pressure of your breasts against him make him groan into your mouth despite the layers of both your robes and his.

The hands you'd gripped his broad shoulders with slide upwards until they are hidden in his beaked hood, allowing you to feel his hair between your fingers. Your nails lightly scratch his scalp, something you'd discovered he'd liked after the first time you'd been together.

His robes, larger than yours and your small frame, brush against your sides and you find yourself almost buried in them as your bodies push against each other, wanting and needing to be closer.

With three more quick kisses to your lips, he separates from you and makes a wet path to your neck which he places a rough bite on.

You moan loudly, forgetting where you are.

He chuckles, the sound vibrating against the skin of your throat. "Not that I don't adore all your precious noises but you need to remain silent, _mon ange_(My angel), else someone might discover us."

Right, you thought, licking your swollen lips and taking a steady breath. You couldn't allow that to happen. The brotherhood had strict rules when it came to fraternizing with with fellow assassins. Master didn't like the idea of brothers fighting over women, causing conflict between them which could put lives in danger. That, and you needed to be willing to die for the brotherhood at a moments notice, and the lover which would be left behind could hold a grudge because of the sacrifice. It was how traitors were created and it wasn't a risk they wanted to take.

But the heat between you and him had been too much for you both to ignore which was how you found yourself breaking the rules and not once regretting it.

The back of your head rests against the wall as you concentrate on keeping your moans at bay while he brushes his lips against your throat. It was a good thing you usually wore a small scarf around your neck(much like he did) as part of your chosen uniform; it was a easy way to hide his possessive marking of you without anyone getting suspicious.

One hand moves from his hair and down his chest, trailing over the multiple layers of his chosen clothing before coming to rest just underneath his waistcoat, on top of his belt buckle.

You can't help but smile when he freezes at your movements and it was his turn to try and suppress his noises.

You smoothly remove the leather from the metal buckle using only one hand before letting your hand slid under the waistband of his breeches. Curly hairs brush against your fingers before you find what you're looking for.

His groan vibrates against your throat as he buries his head in your neck, fingers gripping your hip tightly while his other hand makes it's way into your beaked hood and grips your hair.

"Quiet." You whisper to him with a teasing smile on your lips as you grip him in your hand. He is warm, and his skin feels like smooth velvet. You bite your lip and stroke him slowly but firmly.

A sound gets stuck in the back of his throat as he removes his hand from your hip and places it on your wrist, forcing you to stop your movements. He pulls himself away from your neck, his beaked hood brushing against yours as his breath fans over your lips. "I'm afraid I need to stop you there before I end up taking you against this wall, regardless of who might see or hear."

Your lips part and your mouth dries at his words. For a moment, you fumble, trying to find a reason to not just say fuck it and let him take you right here, right now. You know it would be risky but the pulsing between your legs is becoming too much and you needed him. Needed to feel him inside of you.

You lick your lips, squeezing him gently in your hand and listening to the sweet breath which gets caught in his throat at your movement. You purposely let your lips brush against his while you stare into his lust filled eyes and whisper, "I don't care," your heart skips a beat. "I want you."

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, eyes searching yours. "Are you positive, _mon ange_(my angel)?" he questions quietly while he pulses in your hand at the thought of taking you. "I have to admit, the idea of being inside of you in such a risky place isn't a displeasing one but we must consider-"

You don't allow him to finish and push your lips onto his. Arno had this habit of saying the dirtiest things so casually that it almost sounded like a everyday sentence. It both shocked you and turned on you every time, although you weren't sure he was aware of his words effect on you.

He must have realised that you'd made up your mind, and he kisses you back, once again taking control. He was kind of a freak like that; always had to be in charge. Not that you minded, at all.

Rough fingers slide under your robes and beneath your shirt, heading straight for your breasts. He cups them firmly, thumbs circling your hard nipples, making you moan into his mouth.

His breathing is uneven, just like yours, as you awkwardly begin removing your breeches. You decide that it would be safer to keep them on one leg just in case you have to quickly slip them back on again.

Not missing a beat, one hand moves away from your breast and down your stomach before brushing against the inside of your thighs teasingly.

Your breath hitches and your lips move lazily against his, the kiss almost forgotten in your mind as you concentrate on the hand which began stroking you intimately.

Pleasure spikes through you as a skilled finger slips between your folds and touches your swollen nub through the fabric of your panties. "Arno..." you whisper.

"Shh, _mon ange_(My angel)," he mumbles against your lips, sucking the bottom one in his mouth as you lost yourself in the feeling he was creating. He gives you a cheeky grin. "I'm going to make you feel like you're flying." he vows.

You smile back and reply breathlessly. "I have no doubts."

The movements of his finger grows bolder, touching you harder and faster until you are whimpering at every circle he draws around you. The smile from underneath his hood tells you that he has you right where he wants you.

Moving your underwear aside, he slides two fingers down towards your entrance, his breathing harsh when he finds the amount of wetness there. His fingers move and tease around your clit once more, making your legs shake as he spreads your wetness around, before returning to your entrance.

"Please." you barely have time to choke out before he pushes them into you. Your body pulses around him; the muscles in your pussy trying to bring him in further.

He smiles charmingly at you. "I see I'm having the same effect on you as you are on me." he tells you, withdrawing his fingers until only the tips are inside you before thrusting them back in roughly, just how you like it, effectively cutting off any reply you have.

His fingers seem to know every spot inside you which make you shake with pleasure. Your orgasm is building rapidly and you can feel yourself on the edge, ready to fall over at any moment. All you need is for him to give you that push which will set you off.

And soon enough, that push comes in the form of his thumb rubbing against the very tip of your swollen nub while his fingers continue to fuck you.

"_à couper le souffle_(breathtaking) as usual." he mumbles, not stopping the thrust of his fingers, only slowing down when you come to the end of your orgasm.

If you weren't so thoroughly fucked, you would blush; a normal reaction to the charming compliments he gives you. "Wow." you breathe when your breath finally returns to you and your head stops spinning.

His gaze turns darker all of a sudden and you realise that it was because he knew what was coming next; he would finally be inside of you, something you'd both been craving all day.

Your lips meet once again in a open mouthed kiss; lazy and sloppy as his fingers remove themselves from your body, leaving a sticky trail along your thigh as he slides his hands to your hips and lifts you up effortlessly.

Automatically your legs wrap themselves around his waist, your bodies fitting together like two pieces of puzzle. His hands support you while you make it your job to release him from his breeches.

Your breath mingles together as he is placed at your entrance. Your eyes meet and it feels like the world has stopped just before he shifts his hips forward, slowly placing himself inside of you inch by inch.

When he is inside of you completely, he releases a shaky breath through his nose, his fingers tight as he grips you. "Do you know how I would describe such a feeling?" he questions you, voice soft yet deep and lustful.

You shake your head, unable to think, your forehead against his as you enjoy the full sensation he gives your body and soul.

"_Maison_(home)." he answers simply.

Your heart skips a beat at the same time as tears fill your eyes, both happy and sad. You know exactly how he felt as you felt very much the same way. He was also your home and you never could feel as complete as you did when you were with him.

But it could never be more than just this. Hell, it shouldn't even be this. You were breaking the rules already and if you let feelings get involved, you'd both only get hurt more in the long run.

The brotherhood would never let you and Arno be together. It could only be a dream. Eventually you'd both have to move on and maybe find someone more suitable, someone who hadn't given up their life to the brotherhood. And although the idea killed you, you hoped that he could find someone who would make him happy; who would treat him right.

If they didn't...well, you had enough training to make them regret ever being born.

You didn't reply with words; just let your eyes tell him just how you feel and from the sad, crooked smile on his handsome face, you knew he understood.

The kiss you share when he starts moving his hips was the softest one you had all evening. He pours his emotions into it, trying to tell you the things he knew he couldn't say out loud because it would only cause you both pain.

You did the same back, moaning as his member finds that spot inside of you he knows very well.

He makes sure your clit has enough friction for you to get close again, knowing that you can't orgasm without some kind of stimulation to your precious bud.

Without realising, as your body is pushed towards your second orgasm of evening, your moans are growing louder, giving him no choice but to balance you with one hand while the other covers your mouth.

You can tell he is trying hard to keep up the rhythm he's built but as he grows closer, he keeps losing it and he knows that if you don't come soon, he may very well do it before you did.

Which was unacceptable in his eyes. A true gentleman never came before his lady.

"Fall, _mon ange_(my angel)." he grunts in your ear, feeling your teeth biting into his hand as you did just that. "I promise I'll catch you."

For the second time that evening, he makes you see stars. Your body clenches and pulses around him, forcing his own orgasm from him whether he liked it or not; he never could hold out once you'd come. He'd once said it was because your body just felt too good and he has no choice in the matter. You found it rather flattering, really.

Your arms are tight around him as he comes down from his high, and you are vaguely aware of the taste of blood in your mouth. Had you really bitten him that hard? Guilt fills you, knowing that you'd hurt him but he didn't seem to notice, or even care for that matter.

You lean against each other for support, both of your bodies feeling like jelly. You laugh at each other as you attempt to straighten your clothes. If it wasn't for the come which still coated your insides, or the pleasant ache between your legs from his generous size, it would be hard to tell what had just happened.

You share one last kiss in the dark hallway and give each other that smile you only reserve for each other. As you turn to leave, your heart heavy knowing that this was all you could ever have, he grabs your arm, gaze serious.

"I suppose I don't have to tell you to watch your back out there," he starts, and for a moment you were confused as to what he meant before it occurs to you that you were due to leave for your new contract tonight. "But I shall do so anyway, _mon ange_(my angel). Be careful."

His concern tugs on your heart stings and you give him a nod and a smile. "I will. I promise."

He must have been satisfied with your answer because he nods back and gives you a salute before you both head off into opposite directions.


	2. Petit oiseau

**Thank you so much for the amazing reviews! I honestly didn't think I was going to get such an amazing response so I'm a very happy bunny!**

**As a few of you have requested, here's another chapter. It doesn't have smut(sad face), and it's a bit gorey so if you're squeamish, don't read. Also it's kinda fluffy. Heh.**

**So this is no longer a one-shot, and it'll probably stay as a two-shot unless I get more requests/ideas. So feel free to share if you have any and I'll do my best!**

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**Petit oiseau**

_(Little bird)_

You find yourself wincing as your brother supports you through the halls of your assassins hideout. Your right arm is wrapped around his broad shoulders as his left holds your waist, helping you with every step.

You had almost completed your contract, your hidden blade seconds away from piercing the throat of the unsuspecting templar when suddenly a dozen men had burst through the door, panting heavily.

"Sir, an _assassin-_" the man in front barely uttered before his eyes landed on you. "Get her!" he ordered the men behind him.

You were sure that you looked like a child whose hand had been caught in their mother's money pouch and you barely had a chance to react when the first sword came flying in your direction.

You used your hidden blade to deflect his hit and relied completely on your instincts and skill as you battled your way through the men who wanted to take your life. Your robes twirled around you as you moved gracefully and smoothly, just as Arno had taught you.

You didn't do too badly considering. There's a small cut on your cheek, a bump on the back of your head but the worst of your injuries is your leg which had ended up with a non-fatal stab wound.

Which is why you find yourself limping as Jean-Pierre, your fellow green robed assassin, carries you towards your Master, who wishes to hear how the contract went.

Your teeth finds your lip when you think about how you're going to have to tell him that you failed. The templar had managed to escape while you were busying fighting for your life and you'd been in no condition to chase after him.

You can feel the warm, sticky blood on your thigh as it clings to the fabric of your breeches. You can't help but think about the lecture Arno will surely give you when he hears of your recklessness.

Tears sting your eyes; you were ashamed. Assassins weren't meant to fail and more people will die because of your mistake. Perhaps you should have let those men kill you; it would have been more bearable than the punishment you will most likely face, and the disappointment you'll find in your brothers' eyes when they hear of your failure.

As you find yourself approaching the large, stone staircase which leads to your Masters' quarters, you hear the familiar voice call out your name.

_Arno._

His tone is a mixture of confusion and worry as he sees his brother holding you up and the dark stain on your breeches which was slowly making it's way through the material of your white robes.

Your eyes fall close as Jean-Pierre stops, forcing you to stop with him. You find yourself wanting to beg him to continue because you aren't sure you're ready to face Arno right now.

But as his familiar footsteps grow closer, you don't have much choice.

"_Baise_(fuck)," you hear him curse before he stops in front of you, placing a hand under your chin and forcing you to gaze at him. "What happened out there? Are you all right?" his eyes sweep over you body, examining your wounds before his hand removes itself from your chin. He lifts it higher for a second, looking as if he wanted to caress your cheek where the cut sat but he chooses not to and drops it instead.

You find yourself unable to speak; too much of a coward to tell him that you'd fucked up.

Jean-Pierre answers for you, sensing your reluctance. "Our sister was ambushed; the guards knew she was there for the templar and intervened before she could assassinate her target."

Arno frowned, his eyes yet to leave your form. "How did they know?"

You licked your lips, your eyes downcast as you tell him quietly, "I must have screwed up somewhere." you half-shrug, the act casual which is far from how you feel over the situation.

"I'll have to disagree with you there, _petit oiseau_(little bird)," Arno tells you, and despite everything going on in your head right now, you find his voice and pet-name for you charming as ever. "I've never known you to be anything other than careful and cautious throughout your missions. There simply must be some other explanation."

"I feel the same way, brother," Jean-Peirre nods with a small glance at you. Your heart warms, knowing that they had so much faith in you and your skills. Jean-Peirre continues. "However, if our Master doesn't-"

"Then we must convince him otherwise." Arno says firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

The sound of a bulky, creeky door echoes throughout the large decorated hall. You know just from the noise that it was your Master stepping out of his quarters. He most likely heard you all talking at the bottom of the stairs and grew tired of waiting for your presence.

Your name was called, the sound almost thunderous in your ears. You felt as if you were being scolded; in more ways than one your Master was like your Father and right now, you certainly felt like a child.

You glance up, seeing the way Arno's shoulders stiffen. Arno and your Master had a difference in opinion when it came to handling punishments(something he knew you could be very well facing in a moment). Arno didn't believe that women should have pain inflicted upon them; not because he didn't believe they could handle it but simply because he couldn't stomach such a act.

Master, however, believed that if a woman wanted to be in the brotherhood then she would be treated just as a brother is; there was no special treatment just because of gender. And that is the reason why fear tickles your spine; you know very well that if he chooses to punish you, he will not show any mercy.

And you know that Arno hates the thought almost as much as you do without even looking at him.

"Come, child, postponing this will only anger me further." although Master's voice was more gentle this time, you knew the anger which was hidden behind it.

"Master," Arno spoke up, turning and bowing his head respectively. "Before you make any decisions-"

"Silence, son," Master said firmly, his long, grey, bread brushing against the robes which covers his chest as his lips move. "This is not your place." he turns to you, eyes burning into your own. You feel the need to look away but know he'd only scold you for it. "Come now." he turns and walks through the large double doors.

You hold you breath as Jean-Peirre helps you up the steps. Arno quickly moves to your side and helps support him you as you all make your way up the stone stairs.

The worry must have shown on your features because Arno leans down so you he can whisper in your ear. "Do not worry, _mon ange_(my angel), I won't allow any harm to fall upon you."

His words both reassure and worry you. You was happy that he was willing to stop the possible punishment you face but you was worried what might become of Arno if he did.

You was delightfully surprised when your Master allowed your brothers to stay by your side. Usually no one was allowed to be present during a one-to-one with the Master. Perhaps he was showing pity on you, knowing how nervous you was over what was to come.

Master leans back against his ridiculously large desk and folds his arms over his chest before nodding at you. "Start from the beginning."

And you did. You told him every detail you could remember from the moment you arrived up until the moment you was forced to retreat. Arno and Jean-Peirre stayed by your side the whole time, allowing you to lean on them for support so you didn't put any pressure on your wounded leg.

At the end of your story, the room falls silent and you bite you lip, impatiently waiting for your Master to make his decision.

"There is only one explanation," Master finally decides as he casually stands from his desk and walks behind it. He opens a draw and pulls out a object which you cannot see as he continues, "You must have drawn too much attention to yourself."

You suck in a harsh breath while your heart drops into your belly. Next to you, your brothers stiffen and Arno immediately protests, his arm tightening protectively around your waist.

"Sir, I beg you to reconsider-" Arno tried, his smooth voice pleading.

The black whip shines in the candle light as Master holds it up. "Do not question me, son."

You find yourself unable to hold back the small whimper which forces it's way out of your lips. "Oh god."

As your Master takes a step towards you, you almost find yourself taking one back, not wanting him to come any closer with that _thing_.

Jean-Peirre watches on guiltily, his expression letting you know that he wants to help but doesn't know how.

Arno, however, doesn't seem to be having the same problem as he continues.

"I will take her place."

The words seem to echo around the room, bouncing off of the stone walls until they finally register in your head.

Arno wants to take your punishment?

"No," you protest, twisting your body so you can face him and wincing slightly when the movement caused to you place weight onto your injured leg. "You can't do that. It was _me_ who messed up."

Arno wasn't looking at you though; his eyes were firmly on your Master as if he was trying to use his gaze to convince him to accept.

"_Please don't._" You beg him in a small whisper. You couldn't take it if Arno was hurt because of your actions. The thought alone made your guts twist and heart ache.

After a moment of consideration, Master finally spoke up. "If I allow you to do this, you must take double the amount of strokes." he bargained before sending a look your way. "Maybe that will be punishment enough for her."

You shake your head frantically knowing that Arno and his damn morals will accept the offer without thought. "No, no, no, no, no..._you can't._" you struggle against Jean-Peirre, wanting him to let you go so you could stand in front of Arno, protect him, but his arm was firmly wrapped around yours, keeping you in place.

"I accept." Arno tells him, his face not showing any regret; only relief. "And I can only hope that you'll allow her to leave before you start."

Master raises an eyebrow in his direction. "And what will it teach her if she's not around to see it?"

"Surely knowing is enough?" Arno tries once more.

"No, it is not." Master shakes his head before lifting his hand and making some kind of signal. Behind him, two assassins who'd you had not noticed until now step forward and make their way over to Arno.

They grab an arm each before forcing him to the floor, on his knees while you watch on helplessly, still begging your Master to reconsider.

Arno says your name softly and reassuringly before telling you, "It's okay, _petit oiseau_(little bird)."

You can only stare at his back and whisper his name while the assassins forcefully remove Arno's robes until his back is bear.

You cannot help the way you eyes widen at the sight of small scratches marking his skin, from your nails no doubt when you were lost in bliss with him holding you close. Under any other circumstances, you would have blushed.

As your Master steps forward, preparing the whip, you turn your head to look pleadingly at Jean-Peirre, begging him with your eyes to do _something_.

_Anything._

But he only shakes his head at you, eyes filled with frustration and sadness. It was clear to you that he didn't like this any more than you did and his arm tightened around yours in a small gesture of comfort.

Master says your name, making you glance over at him with tears blurring your vision.

"If you look away, I will start over." he warns you, making you gulp as your throat tightens. "Understood?" he pushes you to answer.

You nod reluctantly, your eyes once again falling onto Arno's perfect back, only marked with small, scabbed over scratches from your coupling.

Soon, they would be barely visible and he would be covered in lashes thanks to you; lashes that would leave scars.

Your heart squeezes in your chest and you briefly wonder if he'll even forgive you for this; and then the whip is lashing at his back as your Master begins to count.

"_Oh god."_ you cry out. With every strike, another tear slips from your eyes. Not once do you look away(no matter how much you want to), worried that Arno will have to go through the punishment all over again.

At first, Arno is quiet; only sharp inhales and exhales escape from his lips but as the bloody mess grew on his back, you could hear muffled groans which tore straight through your heart.

With every strike, more tears build up in your eyes and roll down your cheeks. Frustration ran through your veins, knowing you could do nothing but watch as the man you love was punished and harmed because of _you._

You feel so damn guilty and ashamed of yourself. Every lash which lands on his back felt as if it also landed on your heart.

You couldn't help but punish yourself in your own way, telling yourself what a piece of shit you were for letting this happen. You were truly a terrible person, and wouldn't be surprised if Arno never spoke to you again after this.

A new wave of sadness hit you; you hope he wouldn't walk away but you couldn't blame him if he did. There wasn't a lot of people who were willing to deal with a screw up like yourself.

"Arno..." you whisper brokenly, hearing a groan escape his lips. It was a sound you hope to never hear again.

After a few more strikes(you wasn't sure how many, it seemed to last forever) Master finally folds the whip before taking a step back.

"You've done well, child," Master tells him proudly with a hint of regret. "When you're ready, you may stand and take your leave."

The two assassins let go of Arno's arms and walks back over to the place they came from. You didn't pay attention to them though, as soon as Master spoke, you were already on your way over to your injured eagle.

Jean-Peirre let you go, his head lowered in shame and you could imagine that he was beating himself up for not speaking up. You would comfort him later, telling him that there was nothing he could have done and it was all your fault anyway.

You manage two steps before a sharp pain spikes down your leg and you fell onto your hands and knees with a small cry. You breathe heavily, willing the pain to go away as more blood seeps from your wound.

Arno was breathing just as heavily as you, perhaps even more so, as he slowly began to pull on his robes. A loud exhale escapes his noise when the material touches his injuries, making you feel even heavier with guilt.

You knew you wouldn't be strong even to stand so you crawl the small distance between you and him. When you were close enough, your hand hesitates before reaching out towards him. You swallow the lump in your throat. "Arno..."

You want to kiss him, hold him, apologize over and over but neither your Master or Jean-Peirre knew of your relationship with Arno. If they did, you and Arno would be facing another punishment before surely one(maybe even both) of you was forced to leave the brotherhood.

So instead of caressing his pained features, an act which would be far too intimate and surely a give-away, you place your palm on his now-clothed shoulder.

His eyes meet yours, and for a moment he looks surprised to see you there; he had probably been in too much pain to notice your fall or your approach. His head tilts slightly as he tries to hide the obvious pain he was in. A small, forced smile curls the side of his full mouth.

A sob broke through your trembling lips. _He_ was the one who was in pain, who had just faced a punishment which was not his own, and yet _he_ was trying to assure you that he was okay; that you didn't need to worry.

Even after everything, he was still trying to look out for you.

You broke.

"_I'm so sorry."_ you chant to him over and over. Your voice quiet so the others didn't hear. You didn't even know if they were still in the room; you couldn't hear them over the sound of your cries. "_Arno..."_

When his hand reaches up and caresses your cheek, you realise that _yes_, the others must have left to give you and him a moment. Arno's smile is soft as his thumb as it traces your bottom lip, forcing it to stop trembling.

"Shh now, _mon ange_(my angel)." he whispers to you, and another pang of guilt stabs at your heart; he shouldn't be comforting you, not after what just happened to him. "It's over now. I do not regret it, and should similar circumstances rise, I would do it all over again."

You stare at him in shock, and the look in his eye is all you need to know that he is telling the truth.

More tears fall down your blotchy cheeks and his hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head. Finger nails lightly scratch your scalp before his hand is pushing your head to his shoulder, forcing you into his protective embrace.

You place your hands on his upper arms, knowing that it would hurt him if you wrapped your arms around his back. You let yourself weep; weep because of his pain, because of your forbidden love, weep because of how amazing he is.

And you know, no matter what happens in the future; Whether you magically manage to end up together, or if you are heartbreakingly forced apart and into the arms of another, he will always be the one who took your place.

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**Kinda cheesy, yes, but I like cheesy ツ.**


	3. Douleur

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Your lovely words are inspiring me like crazy!**

**Musketeer12: **Thank you for the suggestion! I'll be sure to work it in somewhere!

**Oh, and a little warning...this chapter is pretty angsty and there's a chance that you'll cry(I almost did while writing it). Try not to hate on Arno too much, some things aren't as they may seem.**

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**Douleur**

_(Pain)_

You hate her.

There was no other word to describe the boiling in the pit of your stomach as you watch the woman touch Arno's arm, her eyes fluttering flirtatiously as she giggled at every sentence he spoke.

Worst of all, he didn't pull away from her affections and it felt as if a knife was slowly embedding itself into your heart.

You were sitting in the dining hall amongst your fellow brothers. Breakfast had been served, a bowl full of honey and oats, a usual favourite of yours but once her face appeared, you quickly lost your appetite.

Arno wasn't sitting with you; you tried your hardest to act casual with each other while your brothers were present. Usually it didn't bother you because it was just a show for the others but today you couldn't help but wonder if he kept his distance from you so he could be around her.

Okay, yes, you were jealous. It wasn't a emotion you liked but, as much as you hated to admit, she was gorgeous and she held every man's attention.

Antoinette was her name, and she was one of the most popular courtesans who lived in The Gardens next door. The Gardens took in women, helped them embrace their sexual needs and showed them how to pleasure and seduce a man. They often helped out the brotherhood when needed, in both missions and satisfying a brother when he needed relief.

In return, they were under the protection of the creed which meant you couldn't go over and punch her in the face for touching your man...not that he _was_ your man; you had no say over what he did. You were just a dirty little secret.

You play with your oats using your spoon as you try your hardest not to glance over at them again. You'd never known Arno to fall into the arms of the courtesans before but you figure that there was a first time for everything.

Antoinette visited the creed often when she wasn't bedding anyone, and every time she seemed to favour Arno over the other members. You'd never felt threatened by her before(jealous yes, not threatened) but this time was different because Arno didn't seem to be turning down her advances like he usually did.

Not that he was encouraging them...whilst she used every excuse to touch him, he never once touched her back. So he wasn't encouraging her, but he wasn't stopping her either.

"If your face goes any more green, I'm worried you'll turn into a frog, _petit oiseau_(little bird)." Adrian's amused voice made you glance up. He was sitting opposite you, one arm resting on the table, sleeved rolled up to his elbow while the other one held his spoon which sat in his bowl.

Adrian was one of the assassins you consider a friend. He wore a white shirt with a sandy-coloured sleeveless robe on top. His chosen weapon was an axe, and he always sported a five-o-clock shadow.

Women swoon over him, and you could see why; he was a _very_ handsome man, charming too with a smooth voice and toned body. If Arno didn't hold your heart, you could easily have fallen for Adrian.

"I'm not green." you mumble under your breath. It was the only response you could think of; his observation startled you slightly since you hadn't realised that your feelings were so obvious.

"Uh-huh," he spoke unconvinced. "You know he wouldn't do anything. Do not worry yourself so much."

His words helped but you try not to show it. You couldn't let him know that you cared what Arno did; your relationship was still a secret. "I don't know what you mean."

His eyes seem to sparkle. "Oh, really? Why don't you accompany on my next contract then? It's estimated to last a month or two, it'll be like a vacation. Of course, that's only if there's nothing to keep you here..."

You narrow your eyes at him, wondering just how long he'd been observing your behaviour. Before Arno transferred to your brotherhood, you'd often go on long contracts because you loved the adventure, but once you and Arno started your _thing_, you avoided any mission which extended beyond a week. It was too painful not seeing Arno for longer than that.

And apparently Adrian had noticed.

You bite your tongue as you thought about his offer. Your first instinct was to turn him down, knowing it would kill you to not see Arno for such a long time but as soon as you thought of Arno, you remember how he was sitting a few tables away from you, letting that whore hang all over him. It made you want to accept Adrian's offer; if Arno could hurt you, you could hurt him right back.

But...technically Arno hadn't done anything wrong, and you didn't want him to think that you were a child having a tantrum over his behaviour. Arno already thought you were young, which was where the '_petit oiseau_(little bird)' nickname came from. He'd started calling you it when you first met him, and then the others caught onto it and now it was used more than your actual name.

"I...I'll think about it." you answer after you consider your thoughts. You want to wait until you could get Arno alone and discuss with him how uncomfortable it made you, and depending on the result, you'd find your final decision.

Adrian looks delightfully surprised. "Really? I honestly believed that you'd turn me down. Not that I'm complaining. If we can get a few weeks alone, I can try to 'woo' you without him being around to distract you." he finishes with a breathtaking smirk.

You roll your eyes as your cheeks begin to turn red. You never had gotten used to Adrian's flirting, no matter how harmless it was. "Shut up."

He laughs loudly and reaches over to pat your hand.

You smile before glancing over at Arno, and once again your heart feels like it's slowly breaking into pieces. Antoinette was sitting closer to him now, her elbow resting on the table with her body fully turned towards him. Her breasts were practically falling out of her dress and her hand was _still_ on his bloody arm. You really didn't like how close they were getting.

You feel sick and turn back around with a sad sigh.

ღღღ

Your fingerless gloves protect your knuckles as you land punch after punch onto the dummy stuffed with hay. It had been a whole day since you'd seen Arno, which was in the dining hall as Antoinette flirted with him.

You were avoiding him. Your decision to talk to him wasn't as easy as you thought it would be. What were you meant to say?

_Can you please stop talking to her?_ No, too much like a controlling girlfriend.

_If she touches you, don't just sit there, tell her to fuck off! _You like the sound of that one, but you knew Arno wouldn't. He would never disrespect a lady. Damn him and his morals.

_Tell me you're not going to sleep with her. _Too pathetic and needy. Plus, you had no right to demand he didn't sleep with her; you had no label other than friend and fellow assassin.

_Can you not do it in front of me? Or even better, not at all? You're breaking my heart here. _Yeah...you really doubt you'd be able to get the words out before you become a blubbering mess. So that was a no.

As your fists continue to meet the dummy, you imagine Antoinette in it's place. Stupid Antoinette with her stupid good looks and stupid curves and stupid giggle and stupid hair and stupid-

"You know, I truly don't believe anyone can look as beautiful as you do when you're angry." Arno spoke softly, making his presence known.

You jump, as does your heart, and you place an hand on the dummy to steady yourself. It was then you realise how heavily you were breathing. "Arno." you greet casually, glancing over to the wall which he was leaning back against, his arms folded as he watches you closely.

Your heart clenches in your chest as the sight of him and your gaze turns to the floor before you look away completely.

"You're upset." he states obviously.

You swallow thickly before turning around and heading over to table which you had rested your robe onto. "I'm fine." you deny, although you're not really sure why. Maybe you wasn't ready for this conversation, or you weren't really sure you had a reason to be upset to begin with.

Or maybe it was both.

He frowns behind you, although you do not see it with your back turned to him. "You've been avoiding me. I waited for you on our tower last night, but you never showed up."

You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was hurt by your actions and for a moment, you felt heavy with guilt before you remind yourself that _he _allowed Antoinette to hang all over him and had the situations been reversed, you were sure he would have done the same thing.

Actual, no, he was too much of a gentleman. He probably would have met you just to say that he wasn't going to meet you.

Your tower was the tallest of the brotherhood hideout, and overlooked the city. It was the place where you and Arno first slept together, and since then, it had become a route for you two to meet there, to both make love and spend time away from seeing eyes.

A vision of him and Antoinette together in the dining hall resurfaced in your mind; the way her breasts pushed up against his arm and the way he smiled as if it was no big deal. You were angry, jealous and hurt, and you found yourself unforgiving.

Before you could convince yourself to bite your tongue, you respond to him coldly. "Really? I thought you'd be up there with Antoinette, and I didn't want to disturb you." as you spoke, you slip your arm into the sleeve of your robe before repeating the action with your other arm.

You hear him sigh and for a moment, you wonder if he knew exactly what had upset you and if he'd been expecting you to bring it up.

"You should know there is nothing beyond friendship between me and Antoinette." he tries to reassure you but all you can think about is the way her name sounds as it passes his lips.

You laugh bitterly as you turn around and face him, noticing how he'd pulled himself away from the wall and now stood a few feet in front of you. "Like friendship _friendship_, or me and you 'friendship'?"

He frowns. "I believed you and I to be more than just friends."

For a moment your heart melts at him acknowledging the fact that you're more than a friend to him but it wasn't enough. You were still hurt, although you didn't think it was so much to do with Arno and Antoinette anymore.

"But we're not, are we?" you respond sadly as tears sting your eyes. "We can never be more."

And there it was; the underlining problem.

It was then you realised the true reason behind your feelings and behaviour.

Seeing Arno and Antoinette together brought out your biggest insecurity and made you you realise that one day, you _will_ lose him to another woman; one he can actually be with, marry, have children with and not have to worry about the consequences.

Your being with him was borrowed time; time that could run out any day now. All it took was a woman outside of the creed, a women like Antoinette, and you would be forgotten about. A woman of his past who he'd once shared a bed with.

You would be a distant memory.

Arno swallows thickly, looking as if your words had just punched him in the face. "I...I don't understand what you're trying to say to me, _mon ange_(my angel)." you heart skips at the pet name as he continues. "Do...do you not want this...anymore?" he questions slowly, his voice strained.

Did you? Yes, of course of you did. More than you could ever express.

The problem was you knew it would be over at some point.

Your head and heart were at a battle with each other. Your heart told you to stay, to be with him for as long as he would have you while your head told you it was better to get out now; leave while it was your decision and give yourself time to get over him before he finds the woman he wants to marry.

You felt a headache coming on and your vision blurs with tears. "I don't know." you whisper to him, the words seeming to echo over and over.

His expression drops before he quickly covers it with a cold mask. "I see." he responds with a surprisingly steady voice. Two beats pass and then he was turning around, his back facing you as he leaves the training area and you behind with it.

You choke on a sob as you crumble to the ground and let the tears fall.

ღღღ

Another day passed, giving you more time to think over the complicated situation.

And you had come to your conclusion; you wanted to be with him, whether it was for a day, a week, or a year. You knew it wouldn't last forever but you also knew that if you walked away, you would always regret not having him while you had the chance.

For now, he would be yours, because tomorrow he might not be.

Unfortunately you couldn't seem to find a moment alone with him. During breakfast, he was with _her_ again, and then he spent the afternoon training some of the new apprentices.

In a few months time, the apprentices would go one-to-one against each other with the Master watching and observing for special skills and potential. It was how assassins were recruited, and each master assassin took turns training them, showing them different techniques, ways to move, defend and fight.

You had done your own training with them last week and found it was rather enjoyable. They were a good class and eager to learn. They also hadn't put you down or disrespected you for being a female, something many young apprentices seemed to do.

Since the class was a fun one, you hoped the Arno would also have enjoyed it which would mean his mood would be a good one.

You leant against the wall outside of the training grounds, waiting for the class to finish as you went over in your head what you wanted to say to Arno. Before you knew it, the apprentices were walking past you, signalling the end of the class.

You smile at the few who notice you and soon they were out of sight. It took a few more moments before Arno exited, and when he did, he spotted you immediately.

His eyes widen in surprise for a moment, his robe folded over his arm as he took you in. He says your name in greeting with a small tilt of his head.

"Arno." you greet back, feeling nervous as hell all of a sudden. "How are you?" you question, figuring that it was a good place to start.

He cracks a small smile at you and speaks with a quiet sigh. "Tired. How about you, _petit oiseau_(little bird)?"

You briefly wonder if he was tired from the class or whether it was because he'd been up all night like you had been. "I'm okay." you say before biting your lip. You had no idea where to start. Everything you'd prepared to say seemed to disappear now you were in front of him.

It was silent for a moment as you try desperately to gather your thoughts. You let go of your lip and take a deep breath. "Arno, there's something I-"

"Oh, Arno, I'm not late, am I?"

You grit you teeth, your shoulders dropping in defeat as Antoinette's feminine voice cuts you off. She struts over, purposely swaying her hips before she comes to a stop beside you. You want to rip her perfect lips off when she smiles at him.

_Bitch._

Arno swallows thickly, almost nervously, as he glances between you and her. You narrow your eyes at him, a feeling of dread heavy in your stomach as you try to figure out the reason behind his strange behaviour.

_Oh god...he didn't sleep with her, did he?_ Was your first thought, causing your throat to tighten painfully as tears threaten to surface.

"Antoinette." he greets and once again, you hate the way it sounds on his lips.

There was a awkward silence and you continue to stare at Arno. Antoinette glances between you and him, and she must have sensed the tension.

"Am I interrupting something?" she questions slowly.

Arno clears his throat before smiling politely. He tilts his head at you, although his eyes continue to avoid yours. "You were saying, _petit oiseau_(little bird)?"

You wonder if he's trying to soften you with the nickname.

Cautiously, you tell him: "I need to talk to you about...something." you trail off slightly, hoping he'll understand what it is you want to talk about without Antoinette catching on. "Would you like to accompany me to an early _souper_(supper)?"

There. You made the first move.

Your lip ends up between your teeth once more. You feel vulnerable, knowing he could turn you down and your feelings would be crushed. Right now, he had your heart in his hands; more so than usual.

His eyes finally meet yours, and you knew he was going to turn you down before he even moves his lips. His expression was sad and guilty, and when he opens his mouth to reply, you will yourself to stop the tears before they could form.

"I'm sorry, _petit oiseau_(little bird)," he tells you softly, and you really believe he means it until he continues. "But I'm afraid I have other plans." he reveals, shifting uncomfortable on his feet.

For a moment you feel relief. He has other plans which means he could be be joining a few brothers for a drink down the local pub, and he wasn't rejecting your offer to make amends with him like you'd feared.

But then the words Antoinette spoke come back to you(_"Oh, Arno, I'm not late, am I?")_, and you remember the uncomfortable look in Arno's eye when she approached.

_Oh._

He had made plans...with Antoinette.

Your mouth fell open, forming a circle as you barely whisper a small. "Oh." your heart aches desperately, having been crushed by his words.

You feel silly. You always knew this day would come; the day he moved on from you and him but nothing could have prepared you for the pain it caused.

Once again Antoinette glances between you. You felt Arno's gaze upon you, saw the guilt in his eyes before you turned your eyes to the ground. You were trying to will the tears to stop, not wanting either of them to see your hurt.

You took a deep breath and was about to make your exit when Antoinette spoke up.

"You two aren't..." she trails off suggestively.

You can't help it; you look up at Arno, wanting to see his response.

His eyes gaze sadly into yours. "We're nothing more than friends." he swallows visibly. "Isn't that right, _petit oiseau_(little bird)?"

You knew he didn't say it to hurt you but, boy, did it hurt hearing your words thrown back in your face. It was then you realise just how much you'd hurt _him_ without meaning to.

Really, you were both hurting each other and right now, you didn't know how to stop.

You nod once and your bottom lip trembles for a moment before you quickly manage stop it. He saw the movement though and his eyes fill with more sadness, more guilt and regret.

You try to swallow the lump in your throat. "Well," you clear your throat, trying to ignore the sting in your heart. "I...I hope you have a good time." you tell them weakly before turning your back to them and walking away.

If you stayed any longer, you wouldn't have been able to control the tears which now streamed down your cheeks.

ღღღ

Over the next week, you purposely avoided Arno and Antoinette. Arno had tried speaking with you multiple times but you didn't want to know.

You could tell he wanted to apologize but it was all so confusing for you.

They were growing closer. He sat with her for every meal and began to return her small touches and affections. It almost killed you having to watch it and not be able to do anything about it.

It wasn't just meal time though; he spent more and more time with her, time that he used to spend with you. Slowly, you had been replaced.

You couldn't understand the sad look in his eye whenever he glanced over at you though. The guilt you understood; he probably felt bad for hurting your feelings but why was he sad? Didn't he get what he wanted?

Your head hurt, as well as your heart which seemed to be in constant pain since this started. You wished the past week away, hoping that it was just a nightmare and you'd wake up, on that tower, in Arno's arms.

You never woke up though because it wasn't a dream.

The night you'd finally had enough was when you wanted answers. You were lonely, depressed, and missed Arno something awful. You needed him so much it hurt.

So you went to your tower, not knowing if he'd come but hoping that he would.

You stood there for a full hour and were about to give up with a heavy heart when two figures caught your eye.

You immediately recognised Arno, and your heart fell into your stomach when you recognised the second figure as Antoinette. They were facing each other and standing _very_ close.

You couldn't deny it even though every part of you was screaming for it not to be real.

They were about to kiss.

And it was Arno who finally initiated it.

You stumbled backwards as if you'd been hit by a large gust of wind. It felt like you couldn't breathe, like every part of you was slowly dying.

After an hour of crying, you knew what you needed to do.

There was no point in feeling sorry for yourself. It wouldn't achieve anything other than making you feel like crap more than you already did.

So you went and found Adrian, who was busy packing in his chambers. The door was open so you didn't bother knocking as you went and let yourself in.

He glances up at you with a confused expression. "Are you okay?" he questions, frowning when he notices the redness of your eyes. It was obvious you'd been crying.

You nod stiffly. "Are you leaving for your contract?" you question back.

He ignores you. "Did Arno do something?" he sounds angry at the idea and you notice a vein stand out on his muscular arm when he clenches his fist.

"I don't want to talk about it," you croak out, feeling tears resurfacing at the mention of _his_ name. "Are you leaving or not?"

He looks reluctant, as if he wants to force the information out of you but after a moment, he seems to drop the matter. "Yes," he finally answers you. "Why? Have you changed your mind?"

"Yeah," you tell him. "Does the offer still stand?" it will be hard being away from Arno – hell, you miss him already – but it would be good for you to heal without seeing him and Antoinette everyday.

"Of course." he says sincerely. "Get your things ready; I'm leaving tonight." he tells you, eyeing you carefully. "You know, I will get you to tell me what happened."

You roll your eyes, knowing that he wouldn't give up until you told him. "I know you will." you said before you left you pack your own things.

It was going to be a long two months.

* * *

***hands out tissues***

**There will be a part two to this chapter which I'm working on now. Don't worry too much, there will be a happy ending; just try to remember that everything isn't as it seems...**


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